 | talk to jie just now on msn.found out that everybody still thnk that i like him,yes i admitted i do.but,i already decided to forget what i feel for him because he is now my friend's.betrayal to friends is the last thing i will do.jie told me that love could'nt be force neither be pushed.yes i agreed to that,but i did say before i love him so i had to let go.because love does'nt mean to occupy ,if he would be more happy with someone else,why not let go to let him find his happiness?jie or the others,don't scold me stupid or insane for this.i truely know myself what am i doing to him.in your view,i might be selfish and inconsiderate.but in mine,i just wanted him to be more happy.it's since a long time that i had seen him laugh or smile happily.i just want to see it one more time.i really truely wishes well for him.i really do my darling,it's my pleasure to know and be together with you for a short time and i am really really very happy with the memories that you had given me.you can blame me now that i am selfish or whatever you like to say.but sooner or later,you would know.my letting go of you is all for your own good and happiness.if you can't forget the person you really loved,you will never ever forget until you determined to.what i wanted to do now is after this semester-delete away my feelings for you and whatever is left by you.but no worries about the memories,because it's the best present and sorvinior(spelling mistake) that you had given me in my 17years of life. |
| never ever call me to do anything again,unless it is very very important-like someone is going to die!i don't want to lose any of my lesson or project time again and again.today will be the last time.what for calling me down to attend something when you already know that the problem is already under control?is this fair for me,do you think that you are the only one fcuking busy whereby i am not?i had to leave my project alone,skip my lessons and waste my hard earned money on cab and dinner for someone whereby i am not totally appreciated,what i got back is accusation and scoldings.is this what i am deserved and worth?not going back at all on the weekends is definaitly a correct thing i do.now i believe what musa said,i should protect myself instead of other people and scarifice what i am happy now.i will never ever do this again...NEVER!i am not going to see anydirty faces of you guys anymore,i am going to reflect what you guy did to me today,assholes!! again and again,i thought all along that nobody understand me at a single point(except for him).but after yesterday messaging,i realise that you could actually understand how i feel and respect me for what i decided to.really i know i am stubborn to give him to another girl,i don't really wanted to but i had to.that girl is seriously love him deeply more than i do.woman's intuition is always correct i knew it all along when she told me that she wanted to give you up but instead this is all just not in her mind.what she wants is really you,she deserve it more than i do.sorry to say that.but once again i wanted to thank you for all what you have done for me,for the money that you had spend,for the beautiful memories that you had created,for your forgiveness and your patient against my temper and many many many more...loving you is more than what i can do but i don't really deserve your goodness for me,she does need it more.once again,i wanted to say thank you,may you and her all the best. LOVE IS NOT JUST ABOUT HAVING,OCCUPY AND KEEP THE PERSON ALWAYS BESIDE YOU,ITS WHEN YOU SEE THEM SMILE AND BE HAPPY FOREVER. |
| chinese new year is coming and my pants are getting tighter-meaning i am running low in cash.thinking all along the oncoming chinese new year would be an enjoyable one,but the people in ec0504f just could'nt run away from the curse of class test right after our chinese new year holidays.we just got to either prepare before or during chinses new year,what is there to enjoy?leaving that place might be happy for that woman,but a disappointment to the rest of the store people.but i already said it once to myself-either she leaves or it wil be me.terribly sorry to yi jian,accidentally made him cry after our conversation on the phone because i was just too vex about family problems and worry about my class people getting debar from exams.thanks to musa and geraline for talking me around before i decided to give up on certain things.thanks alot guys!was rather bo chap about my school life,getting later and later to class.maybe the life former in secondary school was much more better.too enjoying in the life now. finally,our dear lawrance was back to school.it was tough for him to escape from his unreasonable girlfriend he is having now.simply without any respect for people's matter,simply too sticky.again today,he was'nt in school-sick again.somebody is going to kill him for sure if he/she knows that.some people just speak different from their mind,cares and love that person but would'nt admit it.hey,we are not blind you know! tomorrow will be my FACE test for circuit design.how am i going to study for it? |
| the graduation ceromeny on thursday was successful one.although the part on reading name was difficult,but overall was still a great one.went for interview yesterday and it was successful.will be able to start work on the 4th.finally i could leave that hell place.going to give the resignation letter when going to work.although i changed another job,there was a problem with fiance again.the paid would only be out during the middle of the next month.meaning,if i work from 4th to 30th,i would only get my paid on the 15th of the next month.which means i have to spend as little as i can. |
| was told to read her blog just now.i think what i have done for them is really too much.i should'nt even care about it.what i really was in their mind was simply a colleuge or human needed to work in that place.i had always waited to leave that place,away from those who i always helped and talked to.my character was simply bad and weird.i know it all along,but what's the use changing from one place to another?i am simply just me!i said i understand is when i really do,i did'nt said it simply just for fun.i just don't know what to say.maybe keeping contact with people is all i wanted to.i don't want to lose any of my great friends i had made.i did'nt wanted to...but i guess i was wrong about that.now i swear after the reading her blog,i will not ever care about anything that does'nt even concern me.i will just leave in my world,got to be selfish like what others were...i guess,who still understand me the best is my friends and him and my best buddies.i had started to drift from them again due to my school and work...i regreted neglecting them. you are just simply correct gera,i could'nt forget him even if i say i did.all i do is bluffing myself.i am still waiting for him,waiting for the time that we two were together happily.that day during k box session was great,behaving just like what we two were before.after that night,things remained the same,at least he tried to give me better memories of this relationship.i can't bear myself to forget him but he is really a good man that every girl would like to catch.i wish to tell him that i love him even the relationship ends,but since i was the one who suggest the breakup.what for?maybe i would just wait for him to tell me what he really wanted to say.but things now is just better than ever,it's all just we both wanted in the first place.caring for each other and staying by each other side...how long can this end... let's return to my purpose blog,need to say what i did for this past few days. MONDAY 160106 went to the electronics engineering team building day.had bowling competition.during the first round,he scored the lowest of our class participants.so i told him before the 2nd round,"if you scored over hundred points,i would treat you a bottle of vodka".i guess these words made him had the motivation to score after all.so,had to get him a bottle.we don't believe that mr pei was a good bowler until we saw it with our own eyes.he was simply great!did i forget to say the results?we got into the 9th and 3rd place(the only class with both team in placings).what's the best of all?sulaiman got the 3rd in the overall!!that's a yahoo and hurray for ec0504f.after that,we went to k box with gerard in clementi.had lots of beer and the next day,we can't wake up! TUES 170106 had a long day in school.took past year paper to photocopy service in the noon.we was waiting for the paper like 3hours,for 12 to 4 and it was short.made me missed my lesson,what a 'wonderful day'!! WEDS 180106 had a long day too.bought him his vodka and he was so happy due to the colour and flavor was his favourite one.still i was the one who understand him the best.had a long day in the auditorium rehersing for tomorrow's graduation day.from 11am to 5pm.so tiring and is going to lose out in my studies and skip my 2nd year course talk.i was lucky that i had two great male mcees with me today.they was like cheering me up due to my tireness.thanks alot guys!tomorrow is the day,finally it has come and we don't have to lost our lessons anymore.i am so happy.did'nt really get to talk to him like the last few days due to i am busy.sorry for that,my love. |
| watched 2 movies on friday morning after work,the story for mak nak and the chinese tall tales(qing tian da sheng).it was'nt that scary for the story of mak nak,but the climax was there.the chinese tall tales is talking about the love story of tang sang zhang(by nicholas tse) and the lizard monster(by ah sa). had a talk with my store manager yesterday afternoon about my schedule because the old witch had cancelled my schedule for the entire week because i had a long dinner(15mins) and talk on the phone while eating.does that offended the company policy?had a long talk with him,finally i won the war.my schedule was resume as usual.but a very sad thing had happened,kenneth was force to quit as the higher management does'nt want to give him a rise in pay.truely saying,his pay was lower than what he should really get,comfirmation was there that he is really good.but where's is the thing that he should get?but never mind,cause he still had what he should deserve.others job.. kenneth,really want to thank you for working in our store.we really appreciate you as a manger in here.i will help you let the person to get retribution... |
| was so tired.had sleep for less than 3 hours and had to rush to work.working with shelly with the pass few days is really a torture to me,or rather to both nora and me.bossing people around and complain is what she would always do,no wonder almost all the people does'nt like to work with her.i really don't know how long could i or rather we can stay working in this store with her around.why is did she keep bossing people around while she does nothing around except for smoking and count money.other than that all she knows to do is to complain and talk behind others's back.hello?does the boss pay her for that?finally,some of us decided not to talk to her other than matters with work.please my god,how can such a bossy and always critise person be in our store?this is simply ludicuious!other thing is that,would you call your worker to put the shutter shuffle on when there is customer sitting right next to the slot if you are the manager at work?humans with normal IQ would not do that right?how could she ask me to do that,i could simply say that she does'nt even have any brains.where the hell her mother born her skull with?beancurd? please don't say that i am cruel or sacarstic about saying her that,but this is really true.i could not stand her anymore.what i hope now is not to work with her for the next shift. |
| HAPPY NEW YEAR SINGAPORE AND EVERYONE!!! the new year has begin just in a few hours ago and it the beginning of the year 2006!!i wish all the bad last year was gone and what is followed is good for the oncoming year.finally what i had been waiting.watching the movie-chronicles of narnia(the wardrobe,the lion and the witch).watched it with nora after work yesterday morning at around 330am.called jiawei for some discount,to our surprise,we get to watch the movie totally free!!that was cool,without paying any single cents.but before that,we had to do some spring cleaning in the store.kenneth became the air-conditioner and fan maintenience man cum manager while i became the water changer(whereby i have to keep changing the water kenneth used to clean the appliances).all the trouble does'nt goes down the train,he bought us dinner and snacks from spenalli(i think i spelled it wrongly).anyway,back to the topic-the movie.we had the digital version and it was totally amazing!!the effects seems more real. there is something that i should say behind kenneth back.he might be the best manager i had seen in my working life in subway.this is'nt trying to please him or what,but what i say is truth.from the day i first stepped into the sociaty to work,i could'nt find a manger that was as fine as him.being a manager and a young boss at such a young age without having a certificate,a big salute was given to him from me.character might be a problem,but talking to him about problems is completely fine with himhe had complete trust in his fellow collegues even their posting and age were much more younger than him.i am not the only one to say that but i got people to agree on it.but i am the only one who said it out. i believe in what mark lee says during the stars award."you don't need to say you are good.if you are really good,people will say it out for you."indeed,when you say it yourself,it's means high confident.but when people say it for you,it becomes a compliment whereby you have to improve on it.when people are jealous or feeling threaten when your presence is around,they will try to blackmail or backstab you whenever they got the chance.so,having high seelf esteem would helps you better.when you have high self-esttem,you would'nt care what the outside world is saying about you.and you could do things like the nike's motto "JUST DO IT". |
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